33: The last year, Jess, depression and the future

Well, if you look at the last time I actually wrote a diary entry it was exactly 11 months ago today. And why is that? I don’t know about my other fellow writers, but COVID and quarantine had a major effect on creativity, which led to major depression issues. This will be a stream of conscious blog, so I can get jump started. I’m like a junky rust bucket Aero Minivan you swear you will repair.

The last year hasn’t been the best. I know at this point that’s cliche to say, but it’s true. When I can’t write, whether that be jokes, blogs or diaries, I am not my true self. I am not my happy self.

>>>>BLOG: That time I interviewed Maria Bamford a really long, long time ago

However, the point right now is to start again with this first blog. I haven’t written hardly any jokes in the last year. I’ve written maybe two pages worth, which is peanuts for most writers. But I will not compare myself to others because my quarantine experience might have been similar to others, but it is my own.

While I don’t want to dwell on what I have been going through mentally and creatively for the last year, I don’t want to side step the fact that mental illness is incredibly important. If I have learned anything this past year, it’s that I can break. But I can rebuild.

As for myself I did have COVID in December. There’s nothing like not being able to taste the super spicy peanut chicken dish from the new Thai place in the neighborhood. I’m pretty sure my butt “tasted” it the next day. I’m pretty sure my husband might have “tasted” it through his nose.

>>>>THE ARCHIVES: Ugly art from the days of the old Dayton Can Comedy site

My future is looking pretty good. I got my first COVID vaccination two weeks ago, and I get the next one on April 20. It’s going to be a really uplifting day. I also have shows booked for the summer. I have barely written anything, but I am trying to start again. I will succeed. My old jokes are probably so old that they are actually new again!

I hope you all get back to what makes you who you are this next year. I know that I plan on not listening to anybody’s negative thoughts or opinions about me. I haven’t had to deal with that for a year, and it’s been great.