34: I got an early 40th birthday present
In three weeks, I will be turning 40 years old. I will only be in my 30’s for the next three weeks. In three weeks, my life is over. I’m totally joking. My 30’s were amazing, and I am hoping that my 40’s will be even better. I like getting older. I care less and less about dumb shit.
I do have one goal for the next three weeks. This is my 34th diary entry. I am going to try to post my 40th diary on my 40th birthday. So get ready for a lot of nonsense that I hope will keep me sane and hopefully make you laugh.
>>>>SHOWS: The summer of 2021 will be way funnier than the summer of 2020
In 2018 I moved to Kettering and there are a lot of nice bike trails and parks in the area. Even when I lived in East Dayton, I always wanted to get a bike because we were also close to some trails. However, my husband was too afraid of me riding around in East Dayton alone. He was pretty sure I would be murdered. He probably wasn’t wrong.
Fast forward to 2021 and my birthday is coming up. Chris decides to go to every store possible in order to find me a bike. And not just any bike. I wanted one of the cruiser-style bikes that look retro. It also had to have a basket. Chris looked far and wide in stores and online. And nothing. Apparently, people bought up every last damn bike during the pandemic.
Well, today he made some calls and left early saying, “I’ll be back later.” Half an hour later, I got a text with this picture above. It was a pretty light blue cruiser. No basket, but Chris fixed that. He brought it home and tightened all the loose screws, and now I have a bike!
My first attempt to ride it was wobbly, but I got the hang of it quickly. I’m going to be 40. I should know how to ride a bike. So now Chris is just afraid I will fall off, scrape my knee, get hit by a car, ride off a cliff or be attacked by wild animals. I promised to be careful and always have my phone with me.
>>>>BLOG: A year without comedy, mostly. So what now?
So now if you want to get me a birthday gift, I do need a bell. My family is buying me a helmet, and Chris has probably called and asked them to buy wrist guards, knee pads and whatever else will make me look like a total nerd. Chris is very protective and also understands how much I constantly hurt myself.
Three more weeks in my 30’s. I really hope I don’t die on this bike before I turn the big 4-0. If you are in Kettering or on a bike trail and see me, please don’t laugh. Please don’t throw things at me or put a stick in my tire. I will also be carrying around some pepper spray in my basket. See you around this summer!
