A year without comedy, mostly. So what now?

Before the pandemic hit, I was having some serious doubts about my future as a comedian. I must say that having a year off was helpful for a little clarity. In 2020, I did two shows before the pandemic hit, and then I did one show in October.

My show in October was in Ashland, Kentucky where I did a 20-minute set after not doing comedy for six months. It went amazingly well. Probably because I practiced like crazy. I was crazy anxious for this show, but I realized that being away from comedy wasn’t going to be my issue.

My issue is “where do I belong in this comedy world?”

When I was having doubts about comedy last year, there were many reasons. First, I don’t feel like I am part of my Dayton comedy community anymore. I know some of that is my fault, but I tried my hardest to help the community with articles in the paper and even creating a website for people to submit content. That obviously bombed, which really dealt me a blow. It made me pessimistic.

This feeling of being a failure translated to the stage. I starting feeling incredibly anxious doing comedy in my hometown. I didn’t feel welcome. I know a large part of this is just in my head, but not all of it. So what do you do when you don’t feel accepted at your home club?

>>>>PHOTOS: Here’s what I was doing in 2019 in the comedy scene

I decided to start doing out-of-town shows. I have traveled all over the place. All over Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana and soon West Virginia. And this is where I shine! My anxiety was substantially lower, which made me at ease. My delivery was better. I was better.

I have a couple out-of-town shows scheduled over the next couple months for which I am grateful. However, I’ve basically been out of practice for a year and my creativity has plummeted. I’ve barely written more than a couple pages. But I do have lots of ideas I can develop.

>>>>DIARY: The last year, Jess, depression and the future

My plan for the summer, since I am not teaching as much, is to write, write and write. I will write jokes, blogs, sketches, stories and whatever else pops into my head. This is the best way for me to pull myself from my deep writing slump.

Secondly, I will attempt to get back out into my Dayton comedy scene. It’s been a year. I’ve had time to reflect on things from the past and now it’s time to forget about them. My comedy journey is MY comedy journey and I will freely follow where it takes me. Anxiety be damned!

So I hope to be out and about more this summer attempting a new start. While being away for a year was difficult in many ways, the idea of a new beginning has me super optimistic. Here’s to laughing in 2021!