Jessica Graue is a comedian, blogger, journalist and professor. Check out upcoming show dates and or hilarious blogs.

21: I have my own MF'ing office. Like for real, yo!!!

21: I have my own MF'ing office. Like for real, yo!!!

You all can probably guess how my “real” first week at my new job went. Did you say, “fucking amazing”??? If so then you are correct and win the prize of nothing.

I just want to remind everyone of the following things about my new job: I have my own office, the office is pretty big, my office has 2 desks and a table in it, my office has a PC and a MAC, and I have my own office.

SOCIAL MEDIA: Yes, I am on Facebook and here is the link

Oh? My own office? Yes, I have that. I am being cheeky right now, but if you have never had your own office, finally getting one is amazing. It’s a status symbol. One I tell all my friends about.

Having your own office is pretty awesome. You don’t realize all the possibilities your own office allows you. Let me share a few with you. (Dear human resources at my new job: I am joking and I will have that form to you on Tuesday).

BLOG: Why I won’t miss working in the media in 2019

What to do with your office:

1. Listen to music on a blue tooth speaker and not with ear buds. This is mainly because I have teeny tiny elf ears that reject most ear buds. I grew up in the ‘90s. I want my music loud. (At least as loud as I can get it without upsetting other professors or students. But whatever. I grew up in the 90s and we rocked it!).

2. The pile system: My husband has always given me flack for my pile system. It is a very intricate system that consists of me having OCD and randomly putting items into piles. I can now have my piles without upsetting my husband.

3. Not that I would do this, but I could totally take a nap on the floor in my office and no one would know!

4. Also, when you spill coffee on your pants, if you wanted, you could close the door and take your pants off. Air them britches out. (I did spill coffee, but I actually went to the restroom and put my leg under the super crazy high-tech blow dryer. Dry in 10 seconds)

5. If you have odd decor taste, you can hang up your picture of Abraham Lincoln riding a T-Rex and no one can tell you to take it down.. And I did immediately. However, the print is on an old dictionary page, so it is somewhat vaguely not at all connected to what I teach.

6. Envy. My friends are happy for me and my new job, but some are a little jealous. As they should be. My colleagues work really hard. However, I worked my ass off for 20 years to be able to get this job. I will flaunt it in everyone’s face.

22: Why the year of the pig has been such a trying year

22: Why the year of the pig has been such a trying year

20: Living the best life I can

20: Living the best life I can