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Jessica Graue is a comedian, blogger, journalist and professor. Check out upcoming show dates and or hilarious blogs.

11: Flip flops are the worst ever in the whole world

11: Flip flops are the worst ever in the whole world

Lately, I have been in an incredibly obvious pessimistic mood. And it’s a little bit more than normal. It’s probably because spring is finally here, and I don’t’ like it. Here’s a few reasons why I hate spring:

  1. It’s not consistent. Some days I can wear skirts, but others I have to wear boots for rain. Then the humidity messes up my hair. In other words, planning outfits is impossible.
  2. People are happy. The worst thing is seeing a person happy about spring weather. I mean, have you never gambled and won $100? That’s infinitely better than spring.
  3. Bugs. Yucky bugs and spiders.
  4. Bikers. Yucky bikers and spiders.
  5. My dogs go crazy. My pups will make us take them out 15 times a day so they can maybe poop. But mostly they chase birds and smell everything everywhere nonstop.
  6. Flip flops. For the love of God, pick up your feet when you walk. Also, if you’re wearing flip flops, get a damn pedicure hobbit feet.

That’s it for now. However, there will be more.

12: Summer school is for nerds and me because I'm a nerd

12: Summer school is for nerds and me because I'm a nerd

10: A show, funeral and grading all the essays

10: A show, funeral and grading all the essays