5: Just a gross week full of barf

This past week was the first week in a month that I didn’t have any shows. It’s nice to have some down time, but I know that I need to get my butt to some of the weekly open mics to work on new material. 

This week my husband and I were dog sitting for my parents’ dachshund Gita while they went to a casino resort for a few days. I love having 3 dachshunds running around. However, the pups were either not feeling well or got into something that made them sick.

>>>>FROM DAYTON CAN COMEDY ARCHIVES: A ruff life

All 3 puppies barfed at some point this week, which is always a delight. Gita barfed on my bed while I slept. The pungent aroma of slimy soil woke me up. Audrey woke up in the middle of the night and barfed. Luckily, I was able to grab her and put her on the floor so that no blankets would be tainted.

My littlest puppy Sadie decided that she would barf numerous times all on the couch. She can’t just barf in one spot. O no. She likes to walk while barfing so it gets everywhere. She did that twice this week, so my couch smells like mildew and bile. It’s a delight. At least she didn’t barf on my face, which has happened before.

So what I am saying is that I need a new couch. I will also need some new rugs and blankets because they all smell like vomit. Luckily, we are moving soon, so we might just leave this stinky couch at the old house. 

This week of barf reminded me of my sisters. When they were babies, we called them the barf twins because every time they were burped after eating, they would throw up all down my dad’s back. Dad would take his shirt off to burp them and then just jump in the shower. 

At least the twins didn’t try to eat their own vomit like the dogs like to. Or maybe they did. I don’t remember, but I do recall them eating shit off the floor all the time.