PROFILE: Archy Wiseman has more left-handed guitars than Guitar Center
How long have you been doing stand-up?
For 31 one years, comedy has been the mistress that owns me. I cannot break away and the stage will sing the siren's song until I die, despite blowing opportunities and squandering years by not pursuing it hard enough.
How has comedy changed over the years?
Wow. Back in the mid 80's, there was a huge boom. With it were opportunities to be squandered, comics who were hacky and stock and got stage time because of promotional abilities. There were also timeless geniuses. I was fortunate enough to see a number of great comics live and a number of them in small clubs. Sam Kinison, George Carlin, David Brenner, Jay Leno and Tim Allen, to name a few. Now, there is more competition, but there are also more ways available to improve yourself.
>>>>MORE PROFILES: Carlin Hagerty used to have a buzzcut
What was your least favorite school subject?
Through 10th grade, English. Then I had 2 teachers who explained it, let me experiment and help me discover that I could write. Besides that, any class with a teacher who was going through the motions.
What is the last book you read?
The Book of Knot Mastery. When you need more than a square knot.
What are three important traits that comedians should have?
Perseverance. A unique vision. Passion with drive.
Where is the weirdest place you’ve done comedy?
A campfire. Not really weird compared to the Feathers gig here in Dayton.
>>>>MORE PROFILES: Joe Young hates horses
How was middle school for you?
Transitional. Junior high and high school were kind of wretched. I didn't fit.
How long have you played guitar?
On and off since I was 10. I really suck for the amount of time I have put in. But I have more left-handed guitars than Guitar Center, so there is that.
How do you think the world will end?
A giant industrial caramel explosion. The coup de gras will be when we get crusted over with rainbow sprinkles and wind up smothered.
What is the worst genre of music?
Polka, unless you are at a Polish wedding. Then you had better be able to dance a polka or you will be shunned.
What was the first car you owned?
Mitsubishi Dodge Colt. Horrid car. Probably the reason I held on to my virginity for so long.
What is in your comedy future?
Hoping to get to the point where I get regular work. Movies and millions of dollars would be nice too.
