I didn't used to think crocheting was weird

When I was 13, my mom showed me how to cross stitch. My mother has created so many wonderful pieces over the years. Many are family icons representing traditions such as the house by the front door where we can change the door ornament to match whatever season it might be.

>>>>MORE ODD HUMOR: Another day, another dollar store

I tried to cross stitch once. My pattern I was to follow was a little pink elephant. It looked OK on the front end. However if you turned it over to see the craftsmanship, you may have seen something that resembled a Picasso painting.

I recently watched a show where women in their 30s were trying to crochet. I decided that might be similar to cross stitch. What I found out is there are some crazy weird crochet patterns. I figured I might as well share them with you.

Cats are the worst. However, there are some who like these stuck-up buttholes. So crochet or cross stitch one and glue a magnet on it. Your grandma will love it.

I'm fairly certain that there has never been a special day for a dish cloth. Last week I cleaned cheese dip, dog slobber and honey with my dishcloth.

I'm so glad we are giving these worthless mooching babies something to do now. Really, baby. Get a job.

Listen. I love a good scarf. But all seasons? No. This chic must live in Iceland.

If crocheting a tiny burger and fries makes me not eat, then BRING IT ON.  I'm impressed by the intricacy, but also a little disturbed.

You can make a baby a crocheted hat, so they don't look like cancer patients.  Also, these baby models are stunning. Who's their mom? Christie Brinkley?

I guess tissues get chilly too.

Birds are one of worst animals that ever lived. This crocheted version is much more friendly and won't try to peck your eyes out or make you hide in a telephone booth. That's good because telephone booths really no longer exist.

What's hot in the little kid fashion world? Grandma's crocheted smocks and scarves. These kids will most definitely be assholes when they grow up.

Can't care for a real animal because you are a heartless or forgetful human being? Just crochet one and have tea parties with it. Nothing weird about that at all.

I'm fairly certain this baby might haunt my dreams or kill me while I sleep. I'm fairly certain that lamb is not crocheted, so I claim false advertising.