Road trip: If all else fails, mess with your comedy friends!
By Ranson Karr
Travis Clyburn, Jeremy Johnson, Dale Blomquist and myself went to Rockford, Ohio, a small village in Mercer County. I can honestly say it was my first and last time visiting Rockford.
We left in a two-wheel drive truck and got in a bad snow storm on the way. I guess that’s what we get for traveling in February. The pay wasn't worth the danger, but the fun road trip and story that we got was so worth it!
We arrived right before show time. Upon arrival we also found out we needed to be clean. It’s as if a comic can lick his joke list clean like a dog licking its balls. If you have seen my set, you know this is almost impossible, and I'm also doing 20 minutes. I did my time and got through it; 20 minutes clean and I was so proud of myself .
I walked off stage and headed to where all the comics were sitting; all the comics are glaring at me. I look and say, “What?” Travis said: “Dude you said the F-word twice.” I didn't even know. No one complained and we wrapped up a fun show.
We hung around for a while after the show. I noticed a not-so-lovely woman eyeing Travis; that's putting it nicely. She appeared to have robbed a group of Girl Scouts for their cookies and ate them all, but this girl had skills. She showed Travis those skills by licking her straw aggressively and then deep throating it flawlessly!
Travis started feeling uncomfortable. Travis and I walked to the bar; she followed and sat at the opposite end to stare at Travis. He turned to talk to Jeremy so he wouldn't be facing her; out of sight out of mind.
I got the attention of the bartender and devised a plan. That’s when the fun began! I told the bartender how she was eyeing my friend and he wasn't feeling it. I said I'll pay for a drink, but tell her it's from Travis. He smiled and said, “I'll pay for this drink.”
He makes and delivers the drink to the woman. As he does I nudge Travis and tell him to look down there pointing at where the girl is sitting. Of course he does. She smiles and holds the drink up thanking him; I look at Travis and say, “Well that was nice of you.”
Without hesitation he says, "What the hell did you just do!" I said you bought her a drink. Travis is mad at me now; the woman approaches Travis to thank him up close. He is so nice and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, so he actually plays along.
The woman asks if he likes to party. Travis quickly responds with, “Oh I would, but I have to get Ranson home!” I smile and say: “Oh I'm in no rush; let's party!” The drink move was bad, but this was far worse; I knew that, but I couldn't help it
This woman filled Travis in that we could stay at her place, and if we did, he would benefit from it! With the weather being bad, Travis rounded us up and used that as his excuse to get on the road.
I made it of course; I think he might have left me for real this time. The ride home I told him I gave her his number, then say I'm kidding. He said if she calls me you will be sorry. I never gave her the number.
Travis laughs about this now; most of the time when you do some of the gigs we do as no name comics, the funniest stuff is the trip. The dirty bar shows you are what make you better; you learn how to deal with not getting a laugh, and managing your material for different audiences.
Lastly, if all else fails you, just mess with your comedy friends!
