1: Me in 331 words

My first diary was very cliché. It had pink, yellow and sea foam green pages. It had a lock with a key that was so poorly made that just sticking a pen in the lock busted it right open. It was in the 3rd grade when I began recording my thoughts.

I finished that diary in 5th grade. At that point, I moved on to various dollar story journals that were more grown up. It was a necessity to write down my daily happenings and thoughts for many years. 

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As I got older, I wrote less about boys and sports and more about my quest to grow up quickly. I kept a daily journal until 9th grade. The late-90s saw the great suburban basement flood, which destroyed most of my journals. 

After the loss of 6 or 7 years of random thoughts, I journaled less and less. My love for writing was growing as I had received creative writing awards and published poems and short stories. When you grow up, life gets in the way of some of those younger habits.

Now, almost 30 years after I wrote in that first diary, I find the need to want write my daily thoughts again. Why? Well, I’m older and forget things constantly. If I write daily, I will have a wealth of gibberish to help me write jokes. 

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Also, I might try to make sense of my world. I actually just want content for my memoirs I plan to publish once I am incredibly famous. I started comedy at age 31, so I should be famous by the time I am 74. 

The diary section of my website will be just about my daily comings and goings and doings. It’s actually more for me than it is for a reader. I need a record of the dumb things I do, and the things that I accomplish. A look back at these things it needed some days. 

Happy reading.