A group of super drunk 40-somethings with teased bangs drinking Busch Light listening to Poison on a jukebox. Food still being served to families there for chit chat about grandma’s latest cross-stitch competition. A bachelorette party doing shots, the bride-to-be screeching about wanting to blow the door guy.

Most of us have been here. And if you haven’t, then you eventually will. What am I talking about? I’m talking about doing a comedy show for an audience that is either not ready, not aware or just plain does not care.

So whose fault is this? No one’s. Whether it’s a new venue or the crowd drank too much, it just happens sometimes. As professional comedians, we need to be prepared for what might be a set that we ourselves cannot even hear.

Here are some do’s and don’t’s of performing for a loud, apathetic, angry, drunk, unaware or hostile comedy environment.

Do adjust your set. Some people might not agree with me here. However, I think this is probably a rule for any audience. If you planned a joke that you know might not work, maybe find something else that might work better. I’ve done this not just for rowdy crowds but for crowds in general. Know your audience and give them what they want.

Don’t get upset. The problem isn’t you. Actually, there really isn’t a problem. There’s just a miscommunication. Some people don’t know a comedy show is happening. Or they are too wasted to know. Don’t bring attention to the fact that people aren’t listening. That will only exacerbate the issue.

Do act professional on stage and off. Do your set just like you would at any other show. While you may be concentrating on the noise or lack of attention, there is probably a booker there who hired you who is watching. That booker wants to see how you act under pressure. Show them you can perform in any environment no matter what.

Don’t post on social media about how shitty the show was. Again, people and bookers will see. Be thankful you were hired and got to do what you love to do.

Do concentrate on the audience members paying attention. If the back of the room is drunk and talking about the latest Game of Thrones episode, let them do that. But if the front three tables are paying attention, talk to them. Make eye contact with them. If they want to see the show, then personalize it for them. Ask them a question. Engage them if that’s something you’re comfortable doing. If 10 people are having a blast then make it an amazing show for them.

Don’t get scared and cut your set short. These kinds of shows make you a better comic. Being on stage is nerve-wracking to begin with. To be on stage when no one is laughing or paying attention just makes the anxiety a million times worse. Do your agreed upon time and do it with a smile.

Do commiserate with the other comics in the green room away from the audience. We are in this together. We have to vent to each other because no one will really understand. After you bitch to each other, laugh and then eat pizza, do a shot and go home. Wait for the next show that will be better. At least we hope it will be better.

Aug 9 All alone on stage

Aug 13 Kmart shopper for life

Jul 30 I headlined Wiley's and I liked it