Part 2: Different ends of the spectrum

By Michael Wells

If you made it to part 2, thank you. It means you read part 1 where I talked about my best set ever. Now it's time to talk about my worst set ever.

So this comes just days after doing my best set ever. Any comic will tell you there are highs and lows of doing comedy. When you crush a show it's like you are on top of the world and that feeling is something you tend to carry with you to your next show.

Just a few days after having my best show, I traveled up to Toledo and let's just say I sucked a big fat dick.

The show was at a bar and bar shows can be very different. However, I love bar shows. I was going up 6th this show. During the show, the crowd was getting into it they were responding really well. They seemed to be having a great time.

After the first 4 comics go up, they decided to take a 20 minute break before they bring up more comics. There was a DJ playing some music during the break. As this is going on, a group of about 10 people walk in thinking it’s just a DJ playing music, not a comedy show.

While this was happening, people that were there for the comedy show decided to leave.  Eventually, the music stopped and the group of 10 people were pissed off about it, but decided to sit down and listen to the comedy.

My friend Travis goes up 5th. Travis being the seasoned comic that he is decided that rather than telling jokes, he will interact with the group of 10 people that showed up and try to get them involved.

Keep in mind the group of 10 people sat up front to listen and were right in the comics’ faces. Travis does the perfect thing for the situation and gets them involved. He doesn't tell a single joke for 12 minutes. He got off stage like a professional and had a pretty good set.

In my head, I already have my set down that I want to do and I told myself I was going to do my set and that was going to be that. That was my biggest mistake.

I walked up to the stage and grabbed the microphone. One of the ladies in the group sitting in thefront said, “Bring back the last guy. He was funny. I want to talk to him." I haven't even said anything into the microphone, so from that point on I was fucked.

I tell my first joke and the lady said it again. Then she starts to yell across the room to one of her friends. She said, "This ain't funny bring back the last guy". The person she was talking to agreed with her and said, "Yeah bring back the last guy.” I ignored it then told my second joke. A guy yelled, “NOT FUNNY" and started to have a conversation with the lady across the way.

Now there are still people in the back that came to see comedy, but I can't tell if they’re laughing or anything because the people up front are being loud to the point that I could only here their conversation.

 PART 1: Different ends of the spectrum by Michael Wells

I told one more joke. After my 3rd joke the lady said, again, bring back the last guy. At this point I told her to “Shut the fuck up. People were here to listen to comedy and all they can hear is you and your friends talking.”

She then starts to "boo" me very loudly. Then the man across the room does the exact same thing. I tell both of them to "shut the fuck up" again. I go into my 4th joke. The man along with his friend said, “Why do you have to be so angry?” I responded, “I'm not being angry. You haven't seen me angry. I'm just being me.”

Then both he and his friends proceeded to tell me I'm not funny and that I should get off stage. At this point, in my mind I said, “Fuck it.” I'm going to power through my set do what I intended to do and be done.

I didn’t get off stage because I could see a group of people in the back just laughing at my jokes, but I couldn’t hear them. I even pointed out to the group saying, " Now I'm just telling my jokes for you guys.”

As soon as I said that, the lady booed me again. I started to say my jokes louder and they started to talk louder. In retrospect, it was a bad mistake on my part. I thought it would shut them up, but it only fueled  them to talk more.

They started to talk to me again. I ignored it and just ran through my set for the next 10 minutes. However, I told myself I was going to do these jokes because that’s what I had set out to do. I finally told them I was going into my final joke and the group up front cheered.

I did the joke half-heartedly and got up off stage and left. It was such a bad set a lady came up to me afterward and said, “I thought you were funny.” She was just trying to console me, I assume. I said, “Thanks" and rode home in the back of a Chevy Impala for about 3 hours going over the worst set I ever had. The crazy part was that it was the exact same set I had to a couple days prior that killed. 

But that's how jokes work. One day they are amazing; they kill and the next day you are getting boo’s from the crowd. Telling jokes is one thing I love to do, but with the good comes the bad and you have to strive to get better at it. You are only as good as your last set and no audience will ever be the same.

Just remember you have to suck a big fat dick every now and then. If  not, you have never truly told a joke.